Cranky Commentary

Fuck Retail

Liquid Plummer — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 23:04:35 +0000

I should have posted this before Christmas but, anyway….

Think of this when buying any kind of musical equipment, appliances
electronics, vehicles, or furniture at a retail store.

When you’re buying luxury items, you’re paying markups that range from 300% to 1000%. Why do you think the salesmen in these retail stores are so eager to
“help you”. We’re subsidizing their salary with commission
they make when they push a button on a cash register.
Whatever you’re going to buy, do research, don’t count on
the salesmen to be straight with you.
A 1080p HDTV is overkill unless you have a blue ray player or a video game system
that supports that resolution and frame rate. No cable or satellite HD network
broadcasts at 1080p, NONE.
With musical retailers like Guitar Center and Sam Ash I offer them 30% less than the price on the tag. If they won’t do it, I walk the fuck out, I got my friend a $900 Jackson Flying V, for $700 after taxes, and I know we could have got it cheaper but we
didn’t have anyone on the inside to help us out. I knew a guy who got a 75% discount off a Fender Strat because he knew the guy at that worked there.
The question you have to ask yourself is, how much can I get them to take off the sticker price, and how much am I willing to pay. If you are more willing to walk, and go back a few times you can probably take off as much as 50% of the sticker price.

LIST price is like MSRP, never ever pay sticker price, those guys are
making 10% off what we’re paying. MAKE IT THE LOWEST NUMBER POSSIBLE.

I definately won’t “Tread on You”, Especailly when:

Liquid Plummer — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 21:34:55 +0000

1. I’m sending you to jail for smoking weed.
2. Discriminating against you because you’re gay.
3. Sending your children to war to die for profits.
4. Canceling your insurance for preexisting conditions.
5. Giving tax revenues to banks instead of universities so you can have a fat student loan to pay back when you graduate into a destroyed economy with no jobs.
6. Call you a traitor and torture you if you utilize your rights guaranteed by the constitution to disagree with me.
7……………..Yours here
8……………..Yours here
9……………..Yours here

A Commentary on the American Nightmare: A Diary of the Unemployed: The Early Years Part 5

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:39:07 +0000

So, now I’m a man (boy) without a pool. There’s no way I’m getting back in now or maybe ever, and it gets worse. My friends have come to tell me the apartment complex manager wants to have a meeting with me and Vic. This is not a good thing, considering that the complex manage was a complete and total nutjob, fucking cunt. Think of the elementary school vice principle in Uncle Buck, you know, the one with the mole. In short, a hideous human being.

This was the kind of person that was so relentlessly and needlessly mean, nasty and intentionally vindictive that they make you want to viciously beat them, stomp their face in with your boots, then light them on fire. As I think about it now I’m filled an insurmountable amount of rage at how callously vicious this piece of shit was to a bunch of little kids. Yes, I’m bitter.

Until this cunt came along, we played football in the field next to one of the buildings, we skateboarded down the big hill that ran from from the top of the complex down to the bottom, we built tree forts, played hide and seek all over the property and generally had free reign, with no issues or complaints from anyone.

Then this worthless bitch, with nothing better to do with her time, decides she’s gonna put a stop to all our fun and activities for no other reason than I really think she got off on the power trip of it. She definitely had now power in any other aspect of her life, no husband, no kids, nobody. So I think she took it out on whoever she could, and we just happened to be the easiest targets she could find.

She actually told us we should not be outside, that we should go home, and stay indoors. I really think she was must have been crazy or something. She went out of her way on a daily basis to break up our football games, baseball games, hide and seek and any and all activities that she could interfere with, proclaiming that people were complaining, bullshit! Eventually we got fed up and just started to tell her to fuck off. It even got to the point where I splattered model paint on her office window as revenge. I truly hated that fucking beast. But I digress. Back to the meeting.

So in order for me to return to the pool I had to have a meeting with the manager and lifeguard. She didn’t call my mother and say I needed to have this meeting. This crazy bitch was no maniacal and demented, she wanted to have a meeting with a nine year old, and another adult. See what I mean, she was fucking nuts.

So here I go, off to my meeting. A little kid, with two adults, to see if I will be allowed to go back to the pool. Maybe I didn’t specify the extent to which this lady was fucking crazy and for all I knew was were luring me into her office so her and Vic could do me in. I was genuinely scared for my life. So I brought a knife and I was ready to use it.

So let me see if I can recall how this all went down. It was a long time ago but I’m pretty sure it went like this. I walk into her office, which is directly adjacent to the pool, so you could smell the chlorine. It was a cloudy day, upstate New York is very hot and humid in the summer and there are frequent thunderstorms, so the pool was closed, no swimming in case of lightning and all. So I go in, the manager, let’s call her Alice, is sitting at her desk and Vic is standing behind her. They both stare at me intensely, then Alice tells me to sit down.

Have you ever had a situation with your parents or a teacher lecturing you, and you just sort of go along with it because you have to, then just agree with what they say so they won’t talk anymore? That’s pretty much what happened. Oh, and Vic threatened to kill me if I ever did anything like that again. Seriously, he paced back and forth throughout Alice’s speech and blurted out, “I’ll fucking kill you, I don’t care”. Suffice it to say I was alarmed by his declaration and pretty pissed off at the same time. All I could think was, “I can’t believe this guy just threatened my life, I’M FUCKING NINE OVER HERE DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK”. So I reached into my pocket to grasp my knife and thought, go ahead mother fucker and I’m gonna stick you like the greasy pig that you are. So blah blah blah, they gave me their little lecture and threatened my life and I was outa there. I was allowed to return to the pool, but I can’t for the life of me remember ever seeing Vic or that hideous beast again. Or maybe, there’s nothing substantial enough to remember about them, but I’m sure there entire lives were like that. More to Come. Haven’t contributed to this series in over a year until my friend left a simple comment that he wanted to read more. Thanks to Jason Lacour for the inspiration to continue writing my stories, thanks man. Here’s his link

http://heavyhittersofcomedy.com/2010/06/25/gainfully-unemployed/

Friendly Fire

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:36:57 +0000

I know I’ve hurt you
I’ve seen your face in my memories
My words crushing you
Friendly fire still kills

Full of Shit

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:35:38 +0000

Just because you believe it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Most People Need the Lie
Leave your optimism at the door
The Revolution will only complain until they get their market share.
We are all responsible for the success of the rich and the oppression of the poor.
The Success of the Few Depends on the Suffering of the Many.
You want to save the planet Kill yourself.
If you agree with any of these you are on your way.

Untitled

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:33:17 +0000

I’m the king and court jester
The philosopher and the fool
The judges, judge
The righteous and the wicked
I am you except with humility
I saw hypocrisy in myself long before I ever saw it in you.

We, are the satire
We, are the joke
We are, the fools
Still primitive
Three thousand years of reason doesn’t stand a chance against
Six billion years of instinct
The instinct to survive makes you hate.
You think this art brings us together
We sharpen our teeth with it
Then tear each other to pieces
You’ll destroy your brother before he destroys you
Even grandmothers have bloodlust.

You think these things happen for free
Your soul is the cost
When you’re destroyed by it
Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is torture
No one is innocent

Humanity is Corrupt

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:30:45 +0000

There is no such thing as the virtuous soul. The primitive beast explodes into life and devours until death. Love, friendship, money, possessions are all required and battled for. Can you be alone without being lonely. Among your friends are you the parasite or the host?

This Hole

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:27:42 +0000

This hole I’ve dug
From the ground at my feet
Each lesson made it deeper
There’s truth down here in the darkness
In the light there are only lies

Life as we know it.

Liquid Plummer — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 08:16:36 +0000

Your treachery isn’t satisfied by power
It’s fed by it.
Your desires have no virtue
Best intentions aside
Your every breath is full of betrayal
To yourself and to them.

Give what you have to get what you need
Live to take what you can
How much can you take?
All of it, if you could
All that you believe in

What get’s you out of bed
If you don’t believe in it, it has no value
Surround yourself with others who believe the same as you
They make you strong they support your roots and nurture
your growth against those who don’t believe the same.
Grow big and strong
Eat and grow strong
Grow Strong and Eat
More
Strong
More
Eat
More

Sarah Palin and a Shart

Liquid Plummer — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 21:24:43 +0000

Sarah Palin and a frat boy who sharts at a kegger are similar in that; they both start off as relatively harmless and kind of funny in a gross way, then turns into an obnoxious splatter of poisonous filth that stains the fabric of the most delicate aspects of society, forcing them to flee in shame and embarrassment, as they turn to their hand to expunge their filth and attempt to return to the public to willingly invoke their role as hero to the dullards and solidify their position as the party fool.