Liquid Plummer

The Relationship Guide: Part 3

In The Relationship Guide on August 9, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Rule 5

Be yourself.

Once you’re on your date or hook up or whatever, just be yourself.

Don’t make up a bunch of stupid lies that you think are going to make you look more attractive, unless you really think you can pull it off, liars usually get busted.  If the other person doesn’t like what you have to offer FUCK THEM.  There are a million fish in the sea.  Throw that bitch (bitch can be a man or a woman) back.  If you follow these simple rules you will have endless opportunities to cut yourself off from the rest of the world with a relationship.

Rule 6

Do Your Homework

If you aren’t a fun person to be around or can’t at least be fairly entertaining with an interesting anecdote or two, stay home and sign up for online porn, because you are a fucking pod and yes, you are undateable.  Unless you find another pod to be with, then you can be happy with your uneventful lives together.  You see, everyone wins here.

Part of what it takes to keep someone attracted to you is a certain level of entertainment.   If you can’t keep the other person entertained at a certain level, what is there to keep them interested in you.

The easiest way to do this is to have fun. The easiest way to do that is to HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT IN A FUNNY WAY OR INTERESTING WAY.

Newspapers, magazines, whatever you can discuss with a certain amount of humor and wit, will stimulate the other persons mind, which will intern stimulate other more important regions.  Always have something ready to talk about so you’re ready for situations like I mention in Part 1

OK, so you’ve found someone who likes you, you’ve gone out on a date, you’re starting your relationship, you fall in love, and you’re happier than you ever thought possible.

Guess what? It won’t last.


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  1. This has to be the most insightful advice I’ve read in a while. Why do we watch Dr Phil again? Oh yeah, I don’t- thank goodness I have smart people like you to help out.

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